Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Ten Awful things to say in bed

Most of us know about the various things that turn on our partners and the small bloopers that put them off. While enough has been said about how to build the mood for a steamy pleasure session, you probably don't know about things that could spoil the pleasure once you are in the action.

Apart from your annoying bedroom habits, extreme intimate gestures, wrong sexual positions, disliked physical attributes; there are certain unintentional things, which, if said at the wrong time, can act as libido killers. It's evident that while having sex, there are several things on a couple's mind but the issue creeps up when couples let these things come in way of those most cherished moments and thus end up killing the passion.

It is rightly said that sex is the art of love and it must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. To enjoy this intimate and private activity, couples shall let go of all their apprehensions, fears and insecurities. But unfortunately, the looming anxieties find their ways into our bedroom lives.

Dr. Suneel Vatsyayan, relationship counselor asserts, "Sex is to be enjoyed in the present and if any partner thinks about impending things from past or future, it would act as disruption. Saying anything outside your bedroom conversations will become a deviation. Your partner might feel offended and unloved. Understand the fact that your partner will not accept anything outside your intimacy, to enter your isolated sexual moments, and hence such intrusion is highly opposed."

Top 10 things that couples must avoid saying in bed:

Are you enjoying?
This is the most common and the worst of all situations that couples come across. Though it's good to be communicative with your partner about things that are enjoyed or disliked in bed but that doesn't mean you start interrupting in between the act thus killing the heating passion.

Sex and relationship expert, Dr. Amita Mishra says, "Asking your partner again and again to evaluate your performance and speak out their pleasure level might just leave them irked and it is a symptom of performance anxiety where you are more concerned about how the act is progressing and less focused on the pleasure quotient. You maybe either too probing whether your partner is enjoying or too anxious whether you're able to give satisfactory amount of pleasure."

Are you through darling?
Again, this is a repetitive mistake that most couples would make in bed. Sex is something you should enjoy not obligate, so treat it like a necessity of life not a duty that has to be fulfilled each time you get intimate. "If you keep interrogating your partner on whether they're 'through' with the act might sound like you're no more interested in the act and waiting for it to get over soon. It also makes your partner feels apprehensive if the sexual act is becoming a burden on you, so try and avoid being too inquisitive rather let your partner also enjoy the act as much as you did," suggests Ranjan Malik, a clinical psychiatrist.

No comments: