Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Philosophy of S*

On Going Saga of Men And Women

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Keep reading-they get better!!!


'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.


A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)


A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'


A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait fo r my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'


The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .

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Monday, July 10, 2017

Herbs for Absent Menstruation (if You are not pregnant)

Two to four cups of any of these teas can be taken per day. More can be taken if desired, as these teas are considered non-toxic to adults, unless otherwise noted.

PARSLEY - my personal favorite for stimulating a delayed period, I discovered it while traveling in Mexico, after not having a period for two months, when my period would have been due on the third month I used the dried herb and brewed a tea, I drank 3 maybe 4 cups that afternoon and the next morning I had begun to bleed.

Parsley is easily obtained at just about any local market or grocery store in the produce section, It can be used fresh or dried, I've used it successfully both ways. Just throw a handful of the fresh herb in a pot of freshly boiled water, cover and let steep for 20-30 minutes, strain and drink. Recently I tried a parsley tincture that I made, and it did not seem to have any effect.

GINGER Another easily obtained herb, again right from the grocery store, or many kitchens are already stocked with the powdered herb, I like fresh ginger, but you can use either. It is a stimulating herb, so it might not be a good choice right before bedtime. It may make you sweat, or you might experience a hot flash, this is normal for ginger. Chop the fresh root and boil in water for 20 minutes, remove from heat, allow to cool a bit and drink. If you experience nausea while using ginger tea you may be pregnant.
Caution: those with a history of gall stones should use ginger with caution.

YARROW (Achillea millefolium) Grows in most of the northern hemisphere and is easily identified with the use of a good field guide, and is carried by most herb shops. One of my visitors says "the cold herb tea, 3-4 cups taken a day when menstruation is late. It works perfectly for me. I know I can count on it."

SAGE a common garden herb, taken as an infusion.

ROSEMARY a common garden herb, used as an infusion.

FEVERFEW another herb commonly found in an herb garden, taken as an infusion. Not exceeding four cups per day.