Thursday, May 27, 2010

Ginger eases aches and pains

Ginger eases aches and pains

The Jokes On You!

There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A Tight Skirt And A Bus Stop

One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

Funny Photos - Part 1

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The king's daughter

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic -- anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his
wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured." The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge. The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly. The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. He too was sent away disappointed. The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there." The princess did as she was told, though she turned red. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!! The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the
third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was the object in the prince's pants?

They were M&M's of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand. (What were you thinking?)

A Korean In Texas

Che Boram decides to take a trip to Texas to visit his favorite cousin one day. As he sits down in the plane, he says, "Wow, the seats are really big here." The person next to him turns to him and says, "In Texas, they say everything is big."

When Boram finally arrives in Texas, he's a little tired, so he decides to go visit a bar to loosen up. It turns out that he went into a country club instead. He says, "Wow! The bars are very big here." Someone turns to him and says, "Yes; in Texas, everything is big."

He orders a shot of alcohol at the bar, and when the bartender hands it to him, he says, "Wow, the shotglass is really big!" A person next to him turns to him and says, "Yes; in Texas, everything is big."

After drinking his alcohol and many more shots, Boram realizes that he has to relieve himself. So he turns to the bartender and asks him where the bathroom is. The bartender replies, "The second hallway, second door." Boram thanks the bartender, and stumbles on his way. He's had a few drinks, so he misses a turn, and then walks into the third door instead. It's a swimming pool, and Boram trips and falls in.

As he's struggling to stay afloat, he cried out in panic: "Don't flush! Don't flush!"

Ballistic Luxury

Employees of Mexican law enforcement officers found the house well-known drug dealer an arsenal of unique weapons.Guns seized by police, made of gold and silver, some of them are encrusted with diamonds and decorated with the engraving "Wolf Valencia." As explained by prosecutors, the collection belongs to Oscar Orlando Valencia Naveh, head of the same name cartel. Precious arsenal was stored in a mansion in the city of Zapopan.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Diamond as present

John: It's my wife's birthday
Peter: What's your gift to her?
John: I asked her what she wanted
Peter: What did she said?
John: Anything, as long as there is a DIAMOND.
Peter: What did you gave her?
John: playing cards

Husband came home early

WIFE: It's a miracle! You came home early.
HUSBAND: I just obeyed what my boss told me to do. He said: 'GO TO HELL', that's why I came home early.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Man in Ferrari

A man opened the door of his Ferrari, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.

When the police arrived at the scene, the man was complaining about the damage to his precious car.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Ferrari!!!", he demanded.

"You rich people are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your Ferrari, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my!", exclaimed the man, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was.

"Where's my Rolex???!!!!"

Nuclear Power

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic.

But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Unusual but Creative Bus Stop Designs Around the World

Creative and unusual bus stop designs that make the time you spend waiting for the bus a bit more bearable.

Curitiba Bus Stop – Futuristic public transport bus stop in Curitiba, Brazil.

Guarana Antarctica Bus Stop – Football goal posts were placed in bus shelters around Sao Paulo, Brazil to promote the World Cup.

Istanbul, Turkey McDonalds Bus Stop – The world abounds in Mc Donald’s fast food restaurants. A while ago in Istanbul, Mc Donald’s even opened restaurants in bus stops. A creative and visually impactive concept that enhanced the brand’s visibility better than any classic advertising billnoard.

Ventura, CA Bus Stop – A bus stop in Ventura, California designed by Dennis Oppenheim.

Germany, Simpsons Bus Stop – The Simpsons bus stop in Germany. An advertisement for the movie.

Strawberry Bus Stop – Strawberry bus stop from Japan.

Yosemite Falls Bus Stop – Beautiful Yosemite Falls trail bus stop is perfectly suited for the setting.

Hammock Bus Stop – Relax while you wait for the bus to arrive.

Air Conditioned Bus Stop – Fully enclosed bus stop with air conditioning in Dubai.

Casar de Caceres Bus Stop – This minimalist structure that looks like a single sheet of white concrete was designed by architect Justo García Rubío and located in Casar de Caceres, Spain.

oroccan Style Bus Stop – No ordinary bus stop decorated by Iris Hynd in Cornwall, England.

Estonian Bus Stop – Beautiful bus stop design from Estonia.

Watermelon Bus Stop – Creative watermelon bus stop in Ishaya, Japan.

School Bus Bus Stop – Unusual “school bus” bus stop from Athens, Ga. The bus shelter is made from 3 old school buses.

Swing Bus Stop – Creative London bus stop by Bruno Taylor gives commuters a chance to have a little bit of playtime while they wait for the bus.

Vitra Bus Stop – Bus stop designed for the Vitra design museum in Germany.

Sheffield Bus Stop – Creative bus shelter with grass roof in Sheffield, England.

LED Bus Stop – Designed as part of the smart mobilities project, this bus stop was presented in Paris in 2008. Users waiting inside the bus stop could engage via a touch screen interface while pedestrians waiting outside could interact with a 6ft. custom LED display.

Tomato Bus Stop – Tomato-shaped bus stop in western Japan

IKEA Bus Stop Advertisement – IKEA placed a sofa in a bus stop in Istanbul, Turkey.

Future Bus Stop

Monday, May 3, 2010

Moving the pointer without a mouse

Here is how:

1.Press Left Alt + Left Shift + Num Lock Button and click OK in the dialogue box that appears.

2.In your Taskbar, a mouse-like icon will appear. Double click it and under "Mouse" tab, make sure that the "Use Mouse Keys" is checked.

3.Also ensure that the Num Lock is ON (ie. the light must glow).

2.Now with the help of Numeric Keypad e.g ( Press and Hold the following Keys )

7 8 9

4 6

1 2 3

For normal click, press 5

Interesting, isn't it? You can also change settings under the "Mouse" tab in "Accessibility Options", by clicking on Settings