Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dirty- Pictures

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can`t stop thinking about sex." The Psychologist says, "Well let`s see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That`s a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?" The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That`s a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?" The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That`s a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex." "Me!?" demands the patient. "You`re the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"

Kill The Pain

A man walks into the dentist office. After the dentist examines him, he says, "That tooth has to come out. I`m going to give you a shot of Novocain and I`ll be back in a few minutes". The man grabs the dentist`s arm and says, "No way! I hate needles. I`m not having any shot!!!". So the dentist says, "Okay, we`ll have to go with the gas". The man replies, "Absolutely not!!! It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I`m not having gas!!!". So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water. "Here, he says. Take this pill. The man asks, "What is it?" The dentist replies, "Viagra". The man looks surprised, "Will that kill the pain?" "NO" replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hang onto while I pull your tooth".