Monday, October 20, 2014

Some Thoughts

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,
but what we are inside .. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi


12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

The Power of Sign Language

A construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. He spotted another worker on the ground floor and yelled down to him, but he couldn’t hear him.

So the worker on the 5th floor tried sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.

The man on the ground floor nodded his head, pulled down his pants, whipped out his **** and started masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor got so pissed off he ran down to the ground floor and said, “What the f**k is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!”.

The other guy replied, “Yeah, I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that…. I’m Cumming!”